Reply to MILs only -- and only if you do not like your DIL -- why?

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[quote=Anonymous]So I actually think my MIL likes me a lot. She yearns to be close. And I try my hardest but I just can't find much common ground. Last week my 9 year old couldn't sleep because MIL told them a story about a demon appearing in her bedroom at night (MIL 100% believes this happened) and now my kid is scared to be alone in their room. What am I supposed to do with that? How do you have a conversation with someone who a) believes this happened and b) thinks it's an appropriate topic for a child?

It's just like, yeah kids, nana is a little crazy, what can we say? If she tells you a story about the devil appearing in her bedroom, just remember that she's crazy, OK? And privately we are trying to figure out how crazy is crazy enough to limit access to the kids (we definitely did not do sleepovers until they were pretty old and had devices to contact us directly). I don't feel judged by my MIL (possibly because when she had mental break after college I put up firm boundaries which I enforced, and I think she knows I'm unflappable). I actually feel pretty respected. If she's ever confused about this new fangled parenting, she just asks, and when I explain it, she nods appreciatively.

I know this is a small thing in life and I have a wonderful mother of my own, but I think I would be a great DIL with the right person. All the old ladies in book club at church are so lovely and fun to hang out with. My previous boyfriend's mother was a delight. I've always had older women friends. So I hate that I have to smile and nod when it comes to my MIL. And I hate that my husband ignores her while I arrange weekly visits with her while he's at work until eventually she cries that he doesn't spend enough time with her. She used to try to triangulate with me to make him spend time with her but I've just let.that.go. He can see his mom, or not. He's a grown man. And if I don't have the strength to see her, I just don't answer. There's no reason for me to be bending over backwards when my husband can't be bothered.

MIL does have a bunch of nutty friends who look up to her. She's one of those people who loves to be needed. So I guess we just aren't the right fit, but I just need to be glad that the universe has given me older women I can bond with. And I'm glad for her too that she has her band of misfits to follow her.

How she birthed my husband is a mystery to me, but I think the key is that FIL is pretty normal and MIL didn't go off the deep end until my husband was in his 20s. [/quote]

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