Reply to DS doesn't want to return to college in a few weeks. What can we do??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]He's having sex with a waitress.[/b]

Restaurants are notorious for heavy drinking after their shifts, too. I would be concerned if my DS wanted to stay home from college to do that.

I would talk to him and say, it's a fun way to spend the summer but you need to complete your degree. Can you ask him why he doesn't want to go back?[/quote]

This was my immediate thought too. Are you sure it’s not about a girl (…or, of course, a guy)?

Also I find the skipping out on family vacation thing really strange. I guess I don’t know your family dynamics but…did that surprise you? I really wonder if there is something else going on here, that strikes me as quite unusual / drastic / out of the ordinary [/quote]

Most 19 year olds do not want to vacation with Mom and the reality is the restaurant probably needed him to work.  [/quote]

She said it was a family vacation, not just him and his mom(?) He has a younger brother. Just deciding last minute not to come on the family vacation is definitely weird and indicates there’s something more going on there IMO [/quote]

That’s right about the age where my older kids stopped vacationing with us. No other reason except they got better offers or didn’t want to take off work. It’s a normal part of growing up. [/quote]

Interesting. My kids are (significantly) younger so I’m looking back to myself/my siblings at 19 instead, but I honestly cannot relate less - we were so excited for family time and family vacations. What you’re describing is how I felt around 15, but by the time I was 18/19 it was a different story. I know every family has different dynamics though. My friends who didn’t have close families would very intentionally get jobs in our college town and stay there over the summer, versus going back home [/quote]

We’re actually all really close and take lots of trips together. We do beach trips a number of times a year. But vacations are two weeks and that’s a lot of time to be away from a job. Your hours tend to get cut after that big of a gap and they have bills. We don’t pay any car expenses for our kids so they have gas, insurance and whatever car payments they owe. So their better offers aren’t all social - it’s the opportunity to keep high hours and to have cars. [/quote]

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