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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The part about the author’s mother killed me. My mom always wore black pants growing up, she had probably three pairs and never wore other colors. I’ve never even seen her in a bathing suit. Swimming was just not a thing she would do. She didn’t like pictures and I have few of them with her. My mom is such a beautiful person and she always cared about her makeup and hair, but her weight was such a central part of her life that it took away from living it.[/quote]

This spoke to me too.  My mother was obsessed with her weight and it left me and my sister with seriously disordered eating habits.  My mother called me "Little Chubby" as a child, presumably to humiliate me so that I would lose weight, and of course, I obliged.  I began counting calories at age 12 and have never been able to stop.  I became anorexic and bulimic at age 16 and have struggled to eat normally my whole life.  Family dinners were a nightmare - my parents always commented on whether or not we were eating too much, and acted like having seconds was a moral failing.

My father is a pediatrician who - wait for it - views fat people as disgusting, lazy, and out-of-control.  He's retired now, but I have no doubt he told every single overweight child who came into his office (and probably their parents, too) to lose weight.  He can't go anywhere without commenting on people's weight, especially women's: "The woman sitting next to me on the plane was so fat, I barely had any room."

I feel sorry for him and his inability to see beyond people's appearance and treat them with dignity and respect.  I call him out every time he makes a remark about someone's weight, but it doesn't make any difference (he's 85).  [b]I have done my best to model healthy eating habits for my kids, to show them that good-quality, well-prepared food is something to be savored and enjoyed.  I never talk about calories or weight - I talk about "healthy."  I don't want their self-esteem linked in any way to their eating habits or weight. 
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If you saw me, you'd see a normal weight (but not skinny) woman and would probably never imagine the mental energy I expend on whether or not I'm overweight. Our culture's obsession with size is shitty for everyone.  I always wonder whether my life would have been a lot different if my mother hadn't called me "chubby"  and my father hadn't been harshly critical of fat people. [/quote]

The bolded is so important and why I push back on the idea that fat shaming is beneficial by fostering eating habits centered around fear of getting fat. I've previously written about this issue in this forum and won't repeat the details of my struggle. The short story is that I was a thin to a borderline emaciated young person whose entire existence became wrapped up in being thin. Nothing was healthy about my eating habits. I restricted my food intake because of my fear of being fat through a mindset that was grounded in self-loathing.

No one should be guided or inspired by fear of getting fat. Instead, healthy eating, activity, and sleeping habits should be touted as cornerstones of happy lives. On a societal level, we should consider as many measures as possible that will make it easier for people to eat more healthfully, move more, and get enough sleep. 
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