Reply to Do you harshly judge mothers with a lot of outside help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do not judge one tiny iota anyone, in any situation, who hires any level of paid help.

I have to admit that I judge a teensy bit people who use their parents or in-laws as a full-time unpaid nanny.  I don't mean as an occasional babysitter, or part-time help during some afternoons or days of the week; I mean like 40- or 50 hour a week kind of set-up.  I just don't understand how one could be comfortable having their parents spending this time in their lives that way.[/quote]

Same.

I didn’t in the past, but in several cases, the grandparents are EXHAUSTED with doing full-time care, especially if they are older and/or have health issues, but feel obligated to continue.  I’ve  heard this directly from the grandparents or from my mother, who hears it from her friends who are in this situation.

I admit, I am a little jealous of people who have regular family help, like a grandparent overnight once a month or a date night once a week/every two weeks, but it was my choice to move away from my parents.  [/quote]

Sometimes the grandparents are really into helping. I know a few around my neighborhood who delight in taking care of the grandkids. My own mom helps me out very very part time (one afternoon a week this last school year, will increase to 3 afternoons next year but with less hours in the afternoon because school will be longer) and she is always telling me how much she loves it and how special the time is. I have had many discussions with her to tell me if it ever got to be too much. [/quote]

This.  Our friends' use one set of grandparents as childcare.  They pay them a salary, and the grandparents wanted to do it.  When they tried to put their youngest in daycare, the grandparents were upset and insisted on continuing to watch him.  Childcare isn't that bad when there are two sets of hands to wrangle them.[/quote]

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