Reply to How do I shut down toxic positivity from friends in a nice way?

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Reply to "How do I shut down toxic positivity from friends in a nice way?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP should start  from recognizing her own mistake marrying him. It's the worst: realization that you wasted a decade on a worthless person. But nobody but women themselves make these decisions to marry that person! I definitely saw the red flags (minor ones, like changing expensive private train car tickets to cheaper common car for a homeymoon, while he could totally afford it). But I ignored them and ended up with a cheap controlling multi millionaire as a husband who tracked my miserable earnings and spending, including parking fees.

When OP realizes she made a mistake, she will be ready to work on it and will meet the right person. Or not. But she will be happier. [/quote]

OP, this is classic DCUM projection, where a PP projects her own circumstances onto an OP's situation, rather than actually addressing the OP's specific questions.

And PP, it is unhelpful to tell OTHER people they should have "seen the signs" before marriage. Sometimes, sure. But as another PP has pointed out: Many abusers do not present as abusive but as entirely the opposite. Your issues with your ex's financial control of you are worthy of your own therapy and do not apply to the OP's situation. I'm sorry your ex (and I hope he's an ex) is so controlling, but it does not help you or OP for you to blame women for their decisions, after the fact.

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