Reply to Cry it out is the most heartless and cruel thing you can do to a child…

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Reply to "Cry it out is the most heartless and cruel thing you can do to a child…"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We do it for our own convenience. It’s a first world problem. This is not how our species has evolved and how the rest of the world raises babies.[/quote]

So if it’s an adaptation to how our society functions…okay? There’s no village that’s going to magically show up and help with baby sleep issues for most US women and we’re told by pediatricians that cosleeping is incredibly dangerous. Sleep training works for lots of people. [/quote]

I'm not anti-sleep training, but... Cosleeping can be done safely and any pediatrician who simply advises against it without explaining the safe options for it is doing a disservice to kids and parents. There are a broad range of cosleeping arrangements that are totally safe. A lot of my friends just used a cosleeper. I had another friend who slept in the bed with the baby and followed strict rules about minimal bedding and absolutely no drugs/alcohol/medication, which enabled her to safely cosleep with her baby (her DH slept in another bed during this time). We decided to use a regular crib instead of a cosleeper, but just kept it next to the bed for the first 8 months, and I could reach in and get the baby without getting out of bed. By the time DD was down to one feed a night, I actually preferred to get out of bed for that feed and do it in the rocking chair -- once she was back asleep, I'd use the bathroom and get some water and then go back to sleep. This was my schedule for months and it did not leave me sleep deprived -- it was a quiet 15-20 minute disruption in the middle of the night that also allowed me to satisfy other needs, and once I acclimated, it had no negative impact on my sleep. Sleep training would have worked too, but it turned out not to be necessary, and my kid started STTN around 9 months on her own with this approach.

I think families should do what is right for them, but I also think lots of new parents are told the HAVE to sleep train or their child won't learn to sleep correctly. This isn't true. New parents should be given tools and encouraged to use them safely, whether that's cosleeping, sleep training, or other methods. Most sleep training experts I know actually don't advocate for much CIO at all. They will suggest you let your child cry for short periods to see if they resettle on their own, or go in at intervals to soothe but limit the soothing (i.e. don't immediately pick up, soothe for a moment so they know you are there but then leave even if they are still a little fussy), but I don't know anyone who suggests just letting a baby cry until they fall asleep unless it happens very quickly.

The problem on this thread are the people saying that you HAVE to sleep train or your child will have messed up sleep (not true at all) or that you CANNOT sleep train because it is cruel (also not cruel unless done in an inappropriate way). [/quote]

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