Reply to Ever leave the DMV and see successful people who aren't this T20 college obsessed and wonder?

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "Ever leave the DMV and see successful people who aren't this T20 college obsessed and wonder?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t know why there are so many nasty posters here dumping on you, OP. I think the questions you are asking are interesting ones, and it is never too late to think about whether it is a good idea to buy into the striver mindset that’s so common around here (and in other cities with a lot of affluent, highly educated parents). My kids went/are going to W schools where there are plenty of intensely driven kids, and it can be hard to resist the pressure to jump right in to that rat race.  I grew up in a MC, rural area with really terrible schools and struggled a lot my first year of college because I was so unprepared. I always wanted better for my kids.  I have to work much harder at not contributing to the pressure cooker environment than my DH, who grew up in Bethesda.  He absolutely felt the competition to always get the best grades and most impressive ECs was really damaging for him and his friends. [/quote]

Are you equal dual income households, I’m guessing that elite education helped advance your career more than Ohio State?

I had similar college experience and a big goal is to prepare my kids over the 12 years of schooling they have with me, so those 4 years of college are not shocking.

Most MC kids id they don’t stretch, they won’t be enjoying beach house in OCNJ or getting into Medical school. [/quote]
Not sure exactly what you meant with your first question, but we are a dual income family, though [b]my DH makes several times what I do[/b]. We did both attend somewhat elite schools—top 20ish SLACs and UVA law, and for  many years, I absolutely credited our career success in significant part to our colleges and law school. But now that my older kids have graduated, I’ve really begun to rethink that. Their friends who went to UMD, Pitt, and GW (all great schools, I’m well aware) are doing just as well, or in some cases better, than their friends who went to Ivies or other top 20 schools. I really have come to completely understand that if you are smart, have good social skills, and are willing to work hard at a marketable major, virtually any school will give you the tools you need to be successful.

I don’t regret sending my kids to our Bethesda public, as they have been very well prepared for college and life in general. But I’m really glad that my DH worked hard to keep them from loading up on multiple ridiculously stressful APs every semester and otherwise following the very intense path some of their peers did. [/quote]

As I actually expected, your pressure cooker DH makes SEVERAL TIMES WHAT YOU MAKE.  His career success is partly from his schools, but probably also from an upbringing and awareness of navigating his career that came from growing up in Bethesda with UMC parents.

Then you are looking at the outcomes for your kids friends who went to "lesser" schools but grew up going to a W school and likely have UMC parents like you DH?

Hmm, so all I see is that the key to success is to grow up with UMC parents, not really where you go to college.  And to that I agree.[/quote]
Interestingly enough, a lot of my kids’ friends did not grow up in affluent families. They participated in a number of sports and some of their friends lived a good distance out from Bethesda. All of their friends who have done well did have highly educated parents though, including a number with teacher parents.

I certainly agree that the wealthier your family, the less likely you are to need elite schools and college connections to end up wealthy yourself. However, I still am glad OP has asked the questions she did, as the vast majority of people posting on the DCUM college forum are themselves wealthy, and many have not even stopped to think about whether placing their kids in these pressure-cooker environments and gunning for top schools is a worthwhile thing to do. It’s people like OP and the rest of us here who have the power to change the culture of these schools and parent communities for the better. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics