Reply to Worth breaking up over a birthday?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hope that OP keeps us updated. This is the best will-he-or-won't-he I've read in a while.

For the record, I'm Team OP. She told him it was important to celebrate her birthday. If he drops the ball, they are incompatible. Doesn't matter how any of us celebrate or don't celebrate our birthdays.[/quote]

OP: thank you:) We went for a walk last night and grabbed a quick bit to eat and at one point he again said, "someone's birthday's coming up!" and I smiled. But, no mention of any plans for before (it would have to be tonight) or after birthday. Trying to be chill- it's hard![/quote]

Op you blew it right there IMO.   Why didn't you ask if he has any plans?  Maybe he's been hoping for ideas.[/quote]

Op: to clarify, all I was hoping for is maybe lunch or dinner, as PP stated- nothing extravagant. But per your question, we talked a few weeks ago about things we’ve always wanted to do in the city that we haven’t done yet, and I named 5-6 things (shows, museums, etc).[/quote]

Are you being purposefully dense? You need to tell him you want to do something WITH HIM for your birthday!! Listing activities you want to do sometimes, but then blowing him off when he says your birthday is coming up?! He keeps bringing up your birthday and you are shooting him down every time! I totally agree the with poster up thread who said you are giving him a clear signal that you do NOT want to celebrate your birthday with him. [/quote]

Op: I’m not shooting him down at all! And if we don’t do anything but he gets me a gift, I’ll be very happy! [b]For everyone saying I need to TELL HIM, I am trying to find out if we’re compatible long-term. And if he doesn’t do anything, I know we’re not.[/b] [/quote]

New poster. OP, I'm going to fix this for you, because you didn't quite finish your thought above:

"I'm trying to find out if we're compatible long term. He needs to be able to read my mind if we're going to be a long-term couple. I will dump him if he can't guess what I want, based on hints and my coy way of deflecting when he brings up my birthday. He should WANT to do something for me, should want it so much he can read my 'hints' even if some people would read them as the exact opposite of what I really want!"

He. Cannot. Read. Your. Mind. And you really want him to! If he were "compatible" with you he would just know what you really want! Based on [i]generic[/i] talks about things you [i]generally[/i] like.

Do you really not understand why this is not mature thinking? And why true compatibility for a real relationship is not at all about birthday celebration plans?

If you would do this over your birthday, heaven help him when the holidays roll around. Why would you intentionally screw up a decent relationship because you are testing him to see if he is psychic?! And [b]that's what you are doing -- testing him[/b]. Grown-ups don't do that, OP. They just don't. [/quote]

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