Reply to SIL wants us to write her girls letters at camp

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are families like this? I would absolutely have my kids sent little notes to their cousins at camp. I'm sure your niece will write them back. This little bit of family love and happiness between the cousins will cost you less than $5. And you can drop the letters at the end of your own driveway in your mailbox. The effort is next to nothing.

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"The effort is next to nothing."  Then DH can lead this effortless charge.  The heart of most of these responses is that women should always look for ways to keep family relations, husband be damned. [/quote]

Not at all.

Its that family relationships are not blood only.

OP can write a letter to her niece and sign it with her name only.  They are still family even if not blood related.

That's the underlying theme to this whole "drop the rope" trend that I'm uneasy with.  While I'm 100% on board with the moms/wives not having to do all family event planning/coordination/keeping in touch, there's also an unpleasant theme of "its not my family; it's DH's family"

Which is wrong.  It's still your family[/quote]

I agree with all of this. I’m not okay with taking on all the family coordination and associated labor, but I am also not okay with not having a close relationship with both sides of our family. The solution for me is not to drop the rope, but rather to be in communication about expectations and division of labor with my husband as it applies to all of our extended family just like I am about division of labor with our own children so I don’t have to shoulder all of that stuff alone either. [/quote]

People are different and have different family structures.  I am super close to my family, but I don’t really see DH’s nieces as “my family.”  They are his family.  I don’t expect to have a deep long term relationship with them.  I have little interest in “getting the cousins together” etc.  we live thousands of miles away from each other and have built a strong community here.[/quote]

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