Reply to DH embarrassed by my outfit for bbq

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH embarrassed by my outfit for bbq"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don't people date long enough to understand what otger person is capable of. Both parties here lack basic kindness and communication skills.[/quote]

+1 everyone attacking the man but she seems just as out of order. He may not have been tactful with his way of saying it but she clearly got angry about it and couldn't even pick up the phone. I mean what if something bad happened to him or the kids but she wouldn't know because she's still mad about a silly comment. She clearly didn't want to spend time with the family, if she did she'd change or go to the party alone and meet them there. Instead she sat at home being mad and bashing him on dcum. Both parties sound like they have some growing up to do[/quote]

You think your attitude is mature, but it's really just retro (and not in a good way).[/quote]

NP. I don't assume what PP thought but agree that communication comes with maturity. I don't think that idea is retro but do think people don't mature as quickly now as they did even a couple generations ago. Maybe young adult maturity is becoming a retro idea....

As a generation X person this whole interaction seems very middle school level. I was always a bit behind socially growing up and wouldn't even act this way after high school. Not answering a phone call from a family member just wouldn't even be tolerated in the home, it didn't matter how angry you were about something that was said or done earlier. My generation and those older seem to care way less about what people think about them, often are more respectful and accepting of differences of opinions, and were raised with an idgaf attitude.

Like so what if he called you a bumble bee, big deal. I'd probably say yep buzz buzz and fly around the room or go to the kitchen and grab some aluminum foil. If he asked what I'm doing I'd tell him I'm making some antennas before we leave so I can show up in full costume. I'd ask him if he wanted me to make a set for him too so we could all match. Then even if he said no I'd make some for the kids and we would all play bees for 5 minutes and then go to the party together with the kids laughing about the fun they just had being silly as a family. He could join in the bee party or be grumpy, either way I would create a fun situation out of it for me and the kids.

In the rare event that my husband or anyone else said something that really bothered me to OPs level of anger my first line of defense is to call a parent or my best friend to complain.  They will listen for a few minutes and may or may not agree with me. Either way is fine, but they help me talk through the situation and work through a solution or at least gain perspective from both sides. Then when I see that person again I usually just apologize for my part in the situation and move on with life.

If it was a recurring problem that really bothered me then I'd address it with that person directly but in general just try to let things like this go. Life is just too short. Holding grudges and expecting others to agree with you in mass definitely seems more a product of social media than anything else. I think this generation often spends more time in front of a screen than they do in real life interactions. They post their every move on social media and wait in anticipation of likes and affirmative comments. Back in the day talking about something like this and expecting others to agree would be considered gossipy and arrogant at best. Most people would just tell you that to your face too so you'd learn pretty quickly that different opinions existed and life doesn't revolve around you and your perspective. You learn pretty quickly to suck it up and move on and find ways to react to situations to make them better in the moment. That's part of what social maturity is, we just learned those lessons earlier in life 30 years ago.

Social media, being practically raised by computers, and lack of real life social interactions combined with fewer responsibilities and expectations growing up will change the rate of maturity and styles of communication. Like it or not this eventually effects things like marriage and family relationships. I don't know how old OP or DH are but agree with PP that communication styles appear immature. That's not said to be hurtful but just to offer a different perspective. I think some perspective and learning not to take yourself or life too seriously would do OP some good.

The way you respond to situations has more to do with the outcome and your own happiness in life than anything that is ever said or done to you. You can't control what others do or say but you can absolutely change how you choose to respond to it. Learn from these types of situations and create changes in how you choose to respond next time. Arguing and expecting someone else to change won't get you a different outcome but changing your perspective and response might.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics