Reply to How do you deal with a 20 something daughter moving in with boyfriend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The one thing my mother told me was to use caution when living with boyfriends.  It's so easy to move in and MUCH harder to move OUT.  Inertia can carry you for a long time in a bad relationship.  Needing to pull up and move can keep people in the wrong relationship for a long time.

So if she's reasonably sure this relationship will around for a good long while, and he is too, then I don't think it's a problem.  Or if she's willing to pack it up and move it out when she realizes it's not the right fit, fine.

But this is just counsel if she asks.  If she doesn't, I'd do your best to be supportive and stay in her confidence.  She'll need that if things don't work out.[/quote]

The business concept of "sunk costs" applies to relationships as well.
And that is why it is easy to move in but much harder to move out.  It is hard to walk away from the investment of time and hope. Some us will keep dumping more resources into keeping a bad ship afloat.  
OP, the only thing you can do is support her and be there to facilitate if and when she decides it is a bad investment.

I had a talk with my younger sister after she and live-in boyfriend of 8 years broke up.  She said her live-in history shouldn't matter to any prospective boyfriend.  I asked her if (tables are turned) SHE wanted to date someone who similarly had a failed 8 year live-in relationship.  She became very defensive and said her live-in situation was "different"....blah blah.
A live-n past can seem like baggage to others (like a divorce).[/quote]

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