Reply to I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage

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Reply to "I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous]Well... I think you have a lot of unpacking to do, figuring out where your thinking has gone wrong. I don't see why volunteering at school is a requirement of being a good parent. My DH has never once done it, even when they explicitly were looking for someone in his career field, to talk to the class. He just didn't feel comfortable, and it didn't occur to me to think he's a bad parent.

Regarding the kids fighting with each other, which no one seems to have picked up on, but which I think is a major issue, because it directly and immediately affects your quality of life as a family. Figure out how to make that stop, not by telling the kids to stop fighting, but by separating them. I know my kids start fighting when they are bored. Do your kids have friends, and do they fight when friends are around? I highly recommend more play dates (I will send 11 year old to X friend's house and host 6 year old's friend, next time I send the 6 year old to a friend's). Or, even, offer to go to the playground with your kids and have them bring one friend each. If your kids are like mine, they'll go off and play and leave you alone. For years, I survived on play dates to avoid having to play board games, etc. :)

And then, like people said, think of one hobby you would enjoy doing with kid1 and one hobby with kid2. If you don't have the mental energy to think of anything, you really may need professional help.

In any case... Thinking of yourself as a bad mom is counterproductive. Regretting something that can't be undone is also counterproductive. It doesn't really matter that you made "bad" choices in the past. We all make bad choices, and it's not like you are deciding whether to have more kids, you know you won't (right???). So, stop thinking about should-haves and start thinking about how you can improve your daily life with the people currently living in your home. [/quote]

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