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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I met with a divorce attorney today... Surprised... "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] OP. Just in case it hasn't sunk in, divorce is financially the worst decision a middle class person can make. So unless you believe you can marry richer, become yourself a high earner, or win the lottery... Of course, if he's abusive, that's another story. [/quote] This. OP, make sure it’s worth it. You’ll be working a FT job, will lose your family home, and will spend a lot to lose it. [/quote] OP here. I could marry someone with a similar income to DH. He is abusive. I've been with him since I was 22. My family home is new to me. I am not attached to it. You can't put a price on peace. My husband is controlling about so many aspects of my life, even the clothes I wear. I am Muslim. I don't wear a hijab. I didn't learn how to be assertive from my family. He doesn't help out at home or hire help. My job never stops. I am scared of what I might do if I don't get out. I imagine running away from my family. I have a lot of rage. It's not a good situation. [/quote] I am sorry you are going through this. PLEASE don’t even think about the possibility of marrying someone with a similar income as your husband who will be good to you and your kids. That kind of man is very very hard to find. Think realistically. You are the mother of 2 young children, and your earning potential is limited. Most desirable men (earning/good partner) are not even going to give you a second look. You need to focus the most on making your current situation bearable while increasing your earning power. You will be in a much better situation once you have a stable career. Meanwhile, your kids will get older and not require expensive childcare, and the equity in your home will increase so that when you do divorce, you will have some equity and be able to purchase a smaller home for yourself and your kids. I know it goes without saying, but don’t get pregnant again. Make your career a priority. You do not need to hire help. My ex never did either. We survived. [/quote] This. OP, you aren’t going to find anyone better to support you and your two kids. It’s harsh, but the truth. [/quote]
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