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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Can I divorce my husband over furniture?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can divorce for any reason you like. Early in my marriage (granted, we were mid 20s, not mid 30s) [b]my husband didn't understand my love of jewelry.[/b] When we got engaged I gave him my grandmother's diamond to set in a plain engagement ring and got a plain gold wedding band because my husband was pretty poor. Meanwhile, [b]I got him a platinum band that cost 8x as much. [/b]When I wanted to [b]spend about as much as his platinum band on a diamond band for our one year anniversary,[/b] my husband was weirdly unsupportive. He had a little tantrum and [b][u]accused me of being materialistic,[/u][/b] basically. It turns out he was embarrassed that I would want something like that for a "small" anniversary and felt like people would judge us. Anyway, lots to unpack there. We were young. We figured it out, eventually. I have plenty of baubles now, lol, and an account just for buying more. When someone who doesn't have good self-awareness decides that a small thing actually means a big thing, it can blow up like what you are describing. The issue isn't really the furniture but whether you can both figure out why you're misaligned here and find a way to meet in the middle. If he's got issues about replacing furniture tied up in ideas of self-worth and personal values then he'll need to unpack those in order to understand your point of view. Meanwhile, model being the kind of spouse you want him to be and try to understand why this upsets him so much. I don't remember an antique side table thread, but if that was you, maybe you are leaving out some details? In any event, back to my first sentence . . . of course you can end the relationship. If he doesn't value your opinion or strive to make you happy, then it doesn't sound like the relationship for you. Just make sure you're looking at your part in this dance as well.[/quote] It is absolutely hilarious that you are talking about *other* people having a lack of self awareness. Holy cow. [/quote]
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