Reply to Etiquettes- guests coming empty handed to dinner is this okay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The way I was raised, it is standard to bring a gift that is not expected to be part of the meal, even if you ask what you can bring to be part of the meal, and are told “nothing”. What that means is the hosts doesn’t need an extra dish on the table, [b]not that you shouldn’t thank them for inviting you. [/b]

That said:

it’s also perfectly ok to do the thank you gift AFTER the event (say drop off flowers the next day), and

the etiquette rules are more casual with people we are closer with, and see more often. If I happen to be in my best friends  neighborhood and they say to stop by for lunch or a drink I’ll do so, even if I don’t have anything with me, but I might bring two bottles of wine, or wine and flowers, another night when I’m invited for dinner.

[/quote]

Please thank me verbally, with a note, or by inviting me to your house in return. I do not want physical gifts.[/quote]

That's fine, but etiquette dictates bringing something, and there are those hosts who *will* be offended by empty-handed guests, so it's wise to err on the side of caution and bring wine/flowers/etc. [/quote]

I much prefer NO hostess gift to guests who bring something edible that they want used at dinner.  My SIL and brother do this and my SIL has had meltdowns and feels slighted when the host accepts the (usually) dessert and doesn't serve it.  She gets completely miffed.  And my brother, who should know better, enables the behavior.  Obviously they're being rude in their presumption and expectations but no amount of discussion about it will dissuade them.[/quote]

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