Reply to Super morbidly obese. Where do I start?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The first stop is therapy. If you treat all the emotional issues that got you to this weight and has kept you at this weight, you will lose weight without dieting. 
-- Trauma survivor and formerly obese person with 20-yr eating disorder who did EMDR + CBT (and a LOT of it). [/quote]

I don't want to take over this thread with my own question, but I'm curious about your experience. Did you know that your untreated trauma was the reason for your weight issues? I'm also very overweight and I know I have unresolved trauma from my childhood. I've been thinking about finding a trauma therapist and working through it. I have a hard time understanding the connection between my emotions and my weight, but I'm sure there must be an emotional aspect to it. When you started to feel better about yourself, did the eating healthier and being more active come naturally or is it still a constant struggle?[/quote]

Hi, i’m the PP who wrote this comment. 
I had a major trauma at 19 and became a binge eater - and bulimic. I did some therapy, but not enough. One clinician suggested in-patient treatment; in retrospect i regret not doing this (will get to why). I was able to stop throwing up by about age 30. My relationship with food was never normal, but I felt like I had sort of moved on. The bulimia alas also meant you “couldn’t tell” - I remained a completely average weight, neither thin nor fat. 
Well, then a variety of awful events in my 30s did a number on me, and I began binging at a rate that caused me to gain about 100 lbs in three years. I lived that way for a decade because I just couldn’t handle staring down my trauma(s) TBH. But I eventually knew - like deeply knew - I had to treat both the trauma and the binge eating. The EMDR was for the trauma. CBT for the eating disorder.

I pretty much lost 50 lbs in a year without trying, then the rest of it by trying. The work is ongoing because without the binging, I felt the full force of my anxiety (that the disordered eating had “medicated”), and it was rough. I am now on both an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety medication. I am strict about exercise and sleep because I learned that anxiety messed with my sleep, and when my sleep is messed with, I’m much more likely to binge. I’ve come a long way on my trauma and am still plugging away at it. Although I am a healthy weight, I’ll always be looking over my shoulder a bit, and I have accepted as much. There was a period where the binge eating was under control but I started picking at my skin, for example - it’s all the same thing, and meant I had more work to do.

There are a lot of well meaning people on here who are like “yep I had no idea how much I was snacking but once I started logging my pretzels and wine I lost 30 lbs!” and that is great and all, but for those of us who have been 100lbs or more overweight, there was absolutely a mental health issue at play far, far beyond “stressful day eating” that needs serious treatment. Good luck OP. [/quote]

I can relate to soooo much of this!!! I’ve come to accept that I too will always be “looking over my shoulder”. There have been periods where I managed my weight well, periods when I gained weight, and disastrous times like the past 18 months. But even at my lowest adult weight, in my head I was “fat passing for thin”. I have come to accept that I will always, always be dealing with this until I die because almost 40 years of a ducked up relationship with food can at best be managed but it’s not going away. Sometimes I look at other moms and I don’t think I can even imagine what it must be like to exist in a size 6 or 8 body and just walk around taking a moderate amount of space and moving with ease and not carrying this physical and mental weight around. For as long as I can remember (I’m talking childhood) there is this background noise in my head like static that sort of goes over what I just ate, what I’m eating or what I will eat later. It is CONSTANT. Again can’t even imagine what it would be to be able to turn that radio off. So yes, it’s partly about eating less and exercising more but also about so much more than that.  These days Im a period of rapid weight gain, doing my best to stabilize things, and worrying about how to be able to move with my kids and also worried about what I can do to not pass this on to them. [/quote]

Wegovy poster here, I totally agree with all of this and that’s why I’m campaigning for wegovy so much. It can be such a kickstart to see yourself in a different way. I can’t believe that I have lost over 100lbs since I started it. Am I struggling right now not being on it, hell yes! But the last four years have give me a vision of life I thought was impossible. I can’t believe I can get on a rides with my kids at an amusement park! I no longer fear getting on airplanes and asking for the seatbelt extender! Man I cried the first time I got on a plane and didn’t need one! For 15 years I didn’t take pictures with anyone, not my DH, not my babies, not anyone because of my weight. I have NO pictures of me and my children, not even on the day they were born because I was ashamed of how I looked. I have no wedding pictures.

I keep saying talk to your doctor about it, because you won’t regret it.

[/quote]

Thanks for your reply. Can I ask why you went off the Wegovy? Part of the struggle I have right now is that I’ve lost weight before but I’ve never kept
It off. I always gain it back plus 10-20lbs. So I’m very close to 300lbs and that’s paralyzing on its own, but I’m almost afraid to even do anything new because I cannot be 320 lbs when I gain it back. That would be devastating. I’m paralyzed by fear at this point. I know it sounds dramatic but I’m at a particularly low point. The struggle with weight is so public and it can be difficult to go through it while everyone that sees me sees how much bigger ive gotten[/quote]

Sorry it took me so long to reply. My insurance doesn’t cover it. I started taking it in 2020 as a part of the study conducted by NIH and the manufacturer.  I have a long post about my experience, search “weight loos semaglutide” in this same diet and exercise. When the study completed, I did gain about 20lbs back, the study doctor prescribed me Rybelsus (the pill form) 14mg. That was covered by insurance for about 7/8 months. Then Wegovy got approved for weight loss. They offered a coupon and I was able to get it for $25 a month for about 7 months. That has expired. My insurance doesn’t cover weight loss medication and it cost about $1200 a month. Canada price is about $600 or $700, but no matter, I can’t afford it. I picked up a second job hoping to swing it, so maybe. I’m also appealing my insurance. [/quote]

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