Reply to The school has arranged for us to meet with the parents of the child who has been bullying our child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?[/quote]

The OP owes nothing to the other family. Bad intent or not. Why do you want the OP to do them favors? You are a damn fool. [/quote]

Who said they owed anything to the other family? Why is that the critiera? In what sense are they doing them a "favor"? Maybe OP is open-minded to learn a different perspective on their own child's behavior than just what their kid is telling them directly. In short, maybe OP is actually a decent human being.[/quote]

those of us who have BTDT know it is harmful to try to have parents meet. will make the “bully” parents feel bad or defensive; and the “victim” parents feel conflicted (if they like the parents) or just angrier (if parents don’t grovel appropriately). this kind of meeting is always arranged with the subtext that the parents of the “bad” kid will apologize to mollify the parents of the “victim.” But that kind of emotional entanglement is absolutely unrelated to how these kinds of issues actually need to be addressed - which is by the school. I can grovel til the cows come home about the latest thing my kid with ASD did, but it just makes me feel terrible and doesn’t help the other kids, at all. [/quote]

An apology would be nice.  Sorry that it makes you feel bad but you are not the victim and you have no idea what it does or does not mean to them.  As parents we are supposed to model proper behavior.  Also, it should not be completely handled by the school.  There should be some level of personal responsibility involved.[/quote]

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