Reply to Feeling sad about losing a mom friendship over bullying

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a close family friend and our kids knew each other since they were babies. The families did everything together, including vacationing. Kids are now in kindergarten .Turns out that her kid was bullying my kid physically and also isolating her from other kids and teachers by spreading rumors. The school separated them and I also cut off all play dates and all activities they had together. I know I did the right thing for my kid but I am still mourning the six yr friendship - even though I hope adults can look pass this the reality is things aren’t the same. Any words of wisdom?[/quote]

I am curious how a kindergartner isolates another kindergartner from teachers by spreading rumors.  :shock: [/quote]

Well the kid would go to the teachers and say that DD was rude. DD would try to deny it and the teachers would not believe her because DD was [b]very attached to this girl and was clingy before[/b].[/quote]

The facts come slowly from OP but a clearer picture is emerging as to what's really going on. [/quote]

A clingy friend does not warrant getting bashed up or talked about to other girls. [/quote]

But from the other girl's perspective she could feel smothered or that she wasn't allowed to have other friends. I know the people here desperately want to tar and feather a 6 year old kindergartens girl and call her a bully for the rest of her days, but perhaps, this was a complicated friendship. But the word "bully" seems to send some people into a tailspin and further discussion is not allowed.[/quote]

She is being a bully right now.  But she doesn't have to be a bully tomorrow.  She should neither be coddled and led to believe the behavior was in any way acceptable nor should she be branded a bully forever.  [/quote]

PP again.  Wanted to add that let's say OPs kid was being clingy.  Is the appropriate response to that to physically hurt her or be exclusionary in a way that involves the teacher and other kids?  Absolutely not.  Regardless of her motivation, her response was inappropriate bullying behavior.  You can't sugar coat that.  So regardless of the motivation, she needs to learn that this is not how you handle difficulties in a relationship.  Ever.

I really don't understand anyone who is trying to gloss over the behavior of a six year old who hurts another kid in these ways.  The fact that the teachers are aware of this to the point that they are separating the girls says a lot to me, none of it good.  The OP is not calling for further action.  She is just saying she is sad that this will change her relationship with the mom.[/quote]

I don't think people are glossing over it. But ending a friendship with someone over this is kinda nuts. I mean were you ever really friends? [/quote]

I didn’t end the friendship. But the act of saying the girls who were seeing each other outside of school at least three times a week can’t at least for the near future has an impact on the relationship and I am sad about it. [/quote]

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