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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another AAU game day with DD not getting to start.  She gets to play but she wants to be recognized as a starter. How do I change her thinking that it doesn’t matter? Who is making her think she’s less than?? Do I speak to the coach on this?[/quote]

She’ll start when the coach thinks she is better than the other girl who currently starts in her position. There is nothing you can do about that, and there is nothing to change about your daughter’s dislike of it - everyone wants to be the best! She can ask her coach what she needs to do to improve enough to be a starter. She isn’t “less than” as a human being, and I sure hope she doesn’t think she is! But someone else plays her position better than she does (or so the coach thinks). She can let it motivate her, or she can decide she’d be happier on another team. Both perfectly fine![/quote]
This season my son was recruited to a new AAU team.  It’s one of the top teams in the area and he doesn’t start.  Now he’s the best player on his team and he knows it.  I tell him to just play well when he gets in and don’t worry about starting.  I am kind of happy that he isn’t starting because he now has more incentive to work on his game and increase his basketball IQ.[/quote]
It may be political you just have to observe.  My son is the kid in the example above.  He isn’t a starter, but I’m his dad and without having any bias’, I know he’s the best player on his team.
Saturday he had a game against a team they previously lost to by 30 and he came off the bench with 23 points scored more points than anyone else on either team and we lost by 1 point.  Other teams have been interested in him and I think he’s the best player on his team.  The coach just doesn’t seem to know it or there may be some kind of politics.  I like the team, but there are some other things about it I don’t like and if things don’t get better, we are gone after this summer.  [/quote]

So is the issue that he doesn't start? Is that it or is he not getting enough playing time?  That's the thing--teams should have excellent players regardless of whether they start or not.  But I am no expert in the matter.[/quote]

Maybe there are things the coach sees that have nothing to do with skill: Is the player disruptive in practice; respectful to coaches, to other players, to officials; take constructive criticism well; showing up on time to events etc.? Are the player's parents an issue?[/quote]
Well behaved kid.  On time and doesn’t miss practices.  Kind of new to the team so maybe the coach needs to observe him more.  I could care less if he starts.  My issue is that he’s playing a position that he won’t be able to play at the next level and definitely not at any level higher than that.  If I conclude this isn’t the best place for him developmentally over the next few months, we’re out![/quote]

So your kid is playing the 4 or 5 off the bench? 
Does the coach have a player on the team?[/quote]
Yeah 4 and 5, but should be playing 1,2, and 3.  Again, he’s the new player and maybe the coach needs to get more familiar with his skill set.  We are giving it a try, but my kid can play and gets a lot of interest from other teams.  A few weeks ago a coach from one of the top teams in the area spoke to me, I didn’t entertain the conversation because of how far the commute to practice would be, but if things are looking good in the near future we will explore some options.[/quote]

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