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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a step mom and this situation is pretty much what my husband had with his ex. The only thing that bothered me was when it was last minute and I had planned for dinner for only two of us (easy fix...it became DH's job to deal with dinner when these situations arose) and I found it annoying because my husband never "parented" his children when they were over here and they left messes everywhere, wet towels on the floor, etc.  Basically, all the normal things kids do but, as a parent, you can harass them about or make rules to fix but as a step parent, I had no control over.

So, I'd ask him if the REAL problem is the alone time issue (like you said, you can leave them home alone to go out to eat) or if it's something more.

I did struggle a lot with the kids just waltzing into my bedroom and taking my stuff.  It's nice that they felt comfortable enough to do that but it felt very much like an invasion of privacy.  I'd do more digging to get to the heart of the matter.

I agree with you, though, it's important the kids feel welcome.  I always wanted my step kids to feel like they could come and go whenever they wanted since our home was their home too.[/quote]

Serious question, why did you marry him if you so disagree with his parenting and household management approach?  I have never been able to understand why people do this to themselves.  [/quote]

NP. Once you reach a certain age, practically all men have kids. It’s either date a man with kids, or don’t date anybody.[/quote]

Okay, but if you had to date a man with kids wouldn't you try to find one whose parenting you agree with?  [/quote]

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