Reply to I'm so tired of mom cliques

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry but I just don’t see this.  They are groups of friends. Not cliques.  These are adult women with kids, spouses, jobs, busy lives.  They found common ground and connected.  No one has the mental energy for “inclusion” of all moms in the entire school, neighborhood, etc. at all cost.  Just be friends with who you want And get along with and stop thinking about who you aren’t friends with or what you aren’t invited to.  It isn’t personal.  No one can be friends with everyone and included in everything [/quote]

But others may view those groups of friends as cliques. [/quote]

If mom “cliques” bother you, then you have issues and insecurities.  I don’t think at all about what moms are friends with each other or follow anyone on social media or what they post.  That is a you problem, not a them problem.  Make you own friends and do your own thing- or don’t.  But it doesn’t make anyone mean or wrong bc they are friends with each other and post whatever pictures or hashtags you hate on social media.  Stay off social media if this makes you feel insecure. [/quote]

It used to be considered good manners to not talk about parties/events in front of people not invited. That's what happens on social media. It's rude. But manners have gone out the window. Other people notice the bad manners.[/quote]

Well expecting people to not post anything social on social media; unless their entire friends list that may happen to view such post were invited, is a big reach.  It is called social media for a reason.  If other people socializing without you bothers you, you really need to change how/if you use social media.  [/quote]

DP here and look, you can't have it both ways.

If you want to be somewhat exclusive in your socializing with a neighborhood or school community, that's fine. If you want to be somewhat exclusive about socializing but post pictures and comments about that socializing to social media where people who are part of that community but not included in these events will see it, you have to assume that they will sometimes feel left out and consider this behavior hurtful.

It doesn't matter how you think people SHOULD feel about this stuff. This is how they feel. If you behave this way, you will absolutely sow resentment among community members. That's how it goes. You always have the options of either being less exclusive (yep, just inviting everyone to everything -- I get why this is not desirable and it's not what I do, but it is what some people do) OR you can just be more discreet about your social life and either not share stuff to social media or share it just to private groups where only those included can see it (this is very easy now). Or you can do what you are doing and accept that people think you're a jerk.

You can't tell other people how to feel or act like someone is immature or unevolved because they have a totally normal and predictable emotional response. Feeling left out has been around since the cavemen and is probably biologically conditioned because our ancestors would have risk death if they'd been excluded from the group.[/quote]

Except none of us are cavepeople now. If people think you are a jerk, so what? That doesn't mean you actually are one. [b]You know if you are being a jerk or not, [/b]and that's all you can control. You can be the nicest person ever and some people will still think you are a jerk. Stop worrying about what others think and just live your life.[/quote]

DP. I’m not sure if you do, though.[/quote]

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