Reply to How do you SAH but not get lumped in with the nanny and daycare-hating crazies?

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[quote=Anonymous]Yup, this was me. I'm working again now (child is in preschool), but I struggled with this too. And not just wanting not to get labeled as someone obsessed with women being SAHM or thinking there is something wrong with nannies or daycare (which I don't). But I struggled against the perception that because I chose to SAH for a few years, it meant that I didn't care about working (or didn't want to work) or that I was somehow in opposition to moms who work FT during those early years.

Something I had to remind myself is that I don't have to justify my choices to anyone and no one has to justify their choices to me. I don't recognize myself in the stereotypes about SAHMs, and I don't recognize my friends in the stereotypes about WOH moms. I had a child later in life and the reason I stayed home is that I'd been working for a long time (nearly two decades), was ready for a break and change of pace, and also knew this was probably the last baby I'd ever have. I wanted to really embrace that time because I knew it wouldn't last forever. I was fortunate to be able to afford to do it and I have zero regrets. It also set the table for me returning to work in a very different capacity, in a job that suits this stage of my life. I am lucky, but I also made good choices for myself based on MY circumstances instead of what others expect of me.

Like me, all SAHMs and WOHMs have their reasons for doing what they do. Some are practical, some might be based in longhand dreams or expectations about how they want their lives to work. It's not my job to decide whether they made the right choices or to try and convince them to do what I did (I know what was right for me wouldn't necessarily work for someone else). So if someone else tries to impose judgment on me, or evaluate my choices by their criteria, I have to just let it go. They don't know. It's arrogant for them to assume, but at least I know the truth. And it's my opinion that matters the most.[/quote]

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