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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It wholly depends on the life you are trying to lead, and the life your partner is trying to lead, and synchronizing those goals.

If you want your wife to stay home for the first year, the first five years OR if you want your wife to have an interesting and well paid job and have a good nanny, I put the floor at about $250,000 in this area.

If you both want to work and you have a good daycare option maybe $150,000/each

Some adjustments for where you want to live, how much vacation you want to take, whether you want to send kids to
Private school or whether you will pay for college all factor in, but HHI for this area, $250,000+[/quote]

Riiight, you both need to make $150k to swing decent daycare.[/quote]

Can you imagine the society we'd live in if everyone thought like this before having kids? We'd go extinct.[/quote]

Firstly I didn’t say it was what it would cost for daycare, I said it was the cost of both people wanted to WOTH, so no nanny cost or SAHP childcare savings.

Sure let’s imagine a society where people being children into the world planning to pay for their college? To not burden them with the costs of their parents in retirement? That’s really what makes you worry for the figure of society?[/quote]

DP.  I'm in my 50s, been married 25+ years and our HHI has never been more than $200K/year.  There was a 2 year period my DH was unemployed/underemployed and our HHI dropped to about $120K.  Yet, we own our home, sent our kids to daycare, have over $100K in college savings for our kids and over $1M in retirement savings.  We've had to pick/choose where our money goes.  When we take vacations, we usually visit family.  We drive 10+ year old cars and never buy them new.  We take our coffee in thermoses to work and pack lunches.  We rarely eat out.  I'm sure you're life looks very different and mine is not appealing to you.  That's fine.  But, you've got a very unrealistic view of what level of income is needed for a good life in this area. [/quote]

You’re dating yourself. $100k in college savings for more than one kid? So you’re paying…one year each if they go to private school?  Two if they go to state? [/quote]

PP you're responding to.  I don't know what you mean by 'dating myself'.  I already said I'm in my 50s.  For 3 kids, we have over $100K total.  We don't expect to be able to pay for 4 years of college for our kids but to help them as we can.  My oldest is going to NoVa and is planning to transfer to Virginia Tech or UVA through Virginia's guaranteed admissions program.  So far, we've not had to tap into my oldest kid's 529 account because he's living at home and we can afford community college tuition/books/fees. DS also works part time as do our other 2 kids.

Our kids understand what it costs to go to college and what DH and I can contribute. We help them determine what path they want to take.  My middle child is in 11th grade and starting to narrow down her college choices.  She's already taking college classes through dual enrollment/jump start and will likely take summer classes at NoVa.  Her debt load will likely be higher than my oldest but she's also working on scholarships.  It's unlikely she'll graduate with large amounts of debt because she's as pragmatic as DH and I are.

When looking for a life partner, I was not looking for one that could fully fund our kids' college expenses.  I prioritized some who was on the same financial page that I was - in addition to being a good partner.  We opened a 529 for each kid the month they were born and paid into each account $50/month.  Not much but it's added up.

https://www.nvcc.edu/apps/1/transfersearch/gaasearch.aspx[/quote]

I mean you’re dating yourself: your kids are in college *now* and you’re not paying for most of it. OP’s hypothetical children with a hypothetical wife would be starting school in 2042, when in-state tuition for UVA is projected to be $40k/year.  It’s also a false distinction to say you prioritized “being on the same page” over “fully funding college” because plenty of people are on the same page— about fully funding college and not saddling their children with debt.  That’s part of sharing values. [b] In my case both me and my husband graduated with our Master’s degrees debt free and would be horrified to do less for our children than was done for us.  [/b]We have seen our peers delay major life milestones like home ownership and work in soul-destroying jobs to get out from under their college debt and it’s not something we want for our kids.

[b]Also the coffee in a thermos point is laughable at this point— if you had a $10/day Starbucks habit and you gave it up when your kid was born, you still wouldn’t have enough money to send your three kids to college— you wouldn’t have enough money to send *one* kid to college— so it’s inaccurate to act like a little frugality will keep your kids out of debt.[/b][/quote]

I going to guess that you see no point in having government pay for schooling beyond k-12. And are against tuition forgiveness programs because your boot straps are the BEST and everyone should pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

If not, you seem to enjoy castigating those who may be less fortunate than you.  If you are horrified by people not paying for college, you should really visit a domestic violence shelter and learn what horror can really be.

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