Reply to Almost done with freshman year! And lessons learned.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think some of the people crying helicopter don't have kids.

Also, agree with the poster who said the novelty wears off of being so independent. In fact, I've seen time and time again where students with those 'hands off' parents end up relying on their friends' parents for advice and support and help. If you're proud to be that parent that's MIA while your kid bonds with/relies on another adult your age, good for you....I question your values and mental health.[/quote]

Why can't you understand that there's middle ground? You can raise independent kids with love and compassion, without going MIA. It's not one or the other. [/quote]

My point is that if you read the OP, and you find that to be helicopter-y, I'd hate to see what your definition of independent is. That's all.[/quote]

+1 apparently the PP's calling the thread OP a helicopter parent didn't actually READ the original post. There is NOTHING in there that is helicoptering, just some times and things to keep in mind as a parent.

[/quote]

Handling their housing, talking to them about drinking--after they have left for college. And frankly, just having so much knowledge about their day to day lives. That's helicoptering.[/quote]

Nowhere does it say the OP "handled their housing". It simply says to ignore all the other parents who may say, oh don[t worry about housing until spring. In a large state school. it does need to be handled.  It does not anywhere say that the OP handled anything for their kid, just giving parents a heads up that thats the timeframe it will need to happen.

"Talking to them about drinking" That's helicoptering? okay. Well if that is what it's called, I hope more people do it more often. Alot of kids at my DC's school ended up in the ER in the first few months of school from overindulging, so to speak. Mine did not. Guess sometimes helicoptering is the right thing to do?[/quote]

[b]Why does OP need to have ANY involvement in a kid’s housing? I don’t think my parents knew a darn thing about the timeframe in which we needed to get housing taken care of. We all just did it on our own[/b].

In terms of drinking: That’s a conversation that needs to happen well before your kid goes off to college. By that time, they’re either going to know how to be responsible or not.[/quote]

This is OP, back to join the fun that I unintentionally started hahah. The reason I mentioned housing is because the parent is paying for it. If it was an on campus apartment, yea I would not expect to be consulted, advised or even informed of the timing or plans unless I asked. But we are talking about off campus apartments. The first order of business needed to be a discussion with the kid to set the budget, and then I did also review the lease.  Otherwise, my DS and his roommates did it all. They found the apartments, met the realtors, made a decision and asked me for the security deposit. I mentioned it only because coming from a SLAC myself, I had no idea that happened so quickly into the freshman year.

With regard to drinking, obviously as they were being dropped off to college was not the first or last discussion I had ever had about drinking. I simply imparted those words as I left.  [/quote]

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