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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If one of your children married a non-Jew would you cut off contact with him/her or be intentionally mean/dismissive to the non-Jewish spouse? [/quote]

You didn't answer my question. [/quote]

I think I'd be heartbroken but I dont think I'd ever cut off communication with my child and I would never be intentionally mean/dismissive to anyone. I probably would encourage conversion of the spouse and/or grandchildren. I have friends who intermarried and that also makes me sad.

I know parents who have said that theoretically they would cut off communication with a child who intermarried.  However, when it actually happened, they couldnt go through with it.  One family in particular has 3 sisters. 2 (A&B) are very devout orthodox and 1 (C) intermarried and is non-observant.  A&B maintain a relationship with C but with restrictions, i.e. she cannot sleep with her husband in their house and some other things.  The restrictions are based on Jewish law, rather than in their own prejudices or feelings, so A&B feel like they have no choice in the matter. The relationship is obviously strained but C understands a little bit, bc she grew up with it.  To them, it is no different than someone asking them to eat pork. Rules are not to be broken.  In A,B&C's case, the parents went to C's wedding but the sisters did not. [/quote]

Don't you think that C's husband feels that this treatment is intentionally mean and dismissive?  There may not be anything that you would do differently in this situation given the restrictions of your religion, but you would not logically be able to pretend that your behavior isn't coming across this way to the non-Jewish son/daughter-in-law. [/quote]

I'd do my best to explain the concerns I have about intermarriage and how its not personal, although of course it could/would come across that way. I hope that anyone marrying into an observant jewish family would do their best to understand why the parents might have difficulty with it. [/quote]

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