Reply to When did you stop paying for your children to come on family vacations?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My in-laws bicker, FIL has an anxiety disorder, [b]MIL is out of touch and clueless and I honestly don't understand how she kept 3 children alive for 18 years. Not only are they NOT helpful, they are super duper stressful. [/b]

Even if they pay, I don't want to go. [/quote]

This. NOT a vacation. [/quote]

Seriously.  It might be a worthwhile use of time.  But it's not a vacation for me.  [b]There's literally no trip with young children that feels like a vacation to me.[/b]  I don't mind visiting my in-laws because they're good with the kids and take them out to give us a break, they're understanding and up-to-date about special needs, and they ALWAYS follow our rules and are great about generational things like car seats and safe sleep.  But if this stuff were a source of conflict or if they wanted us to spend too much of our money or go at a time that doesn't work for our jobs or the kids' school, or do something that we just really dislike or that isn't age-appropriate, or if the sleeping arrangement isn't conducive to actual sleep, then it's not enjoyable at all.  It's not about whether I like *them*, it's about whether the plans are feasible.  If I'm going to spend our whole vacation budget and all my PTO on something that's really not enjoyable, it isn't a vacation.[/quote]

So much this. And add in ILs who want to cram into tiny spaces with everyone at locations that require at least one, if not two layovers, with 2 car seats, and a pack n play, no thanks. I would legitimately prefer to take days off and sit in my house. Though at least we are now past the two car seats and pack n play days. But when we still were at that stage and they wanted us to leave the children (all sub 4 at the time) in the living room where the front door opened onto a lake and my FIL would go in and out to smoke all night and not remember to lock the door, that was the end of that nonsense. Last family event they wanted 12 adults and 9 children to stay in 3 bedrooms. We politely declined and got our own Airbnb down the street. My BIL then tried to pawn off his 3 children onto us because we got a 3 bedroom place just for the 4 of us. [/quote]

+1000.  I wouldn't stay in that house for a million dollars.  It's funny how the "suck it up, it's faaaaaamily" shamers never think the older generation should suck it up and prevent their grandchildren from drowning or secondhand smoke.[/quote]

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