Reply to divorce from an adult child view

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Self-centered are the parents who divorced while expecting that they won’t shoulder any of the inconvenience. A lot of these so-called parents could use a dose of shut up.  That’s not being a martyr. That’s an adult child sick of listening to their parents’ childish whining.[/quote]
Yes, because it certainly is not an inconvenience for the parents to go through the huge changes that divorce brings into their lives (who you live with, where you live, the finances etc etc + divorces tend to be emotionally difficult even when they're 'easy'). That is NOTHING compared to you having to visit two households during Christmas![/quote]

DP here. I’m not visiting twice as many people on the holidays. If you choose to divorce, you get half as much time. That’s how it works. I will rotate but I will not twist my family into a pretzel. And I don’t feel guilty - this is what you chose.[/quote]

So they're gonna get half as much eldercare from you too?  Half-manage their medical care when they're too old to do it?  You're gonna half-sell their house, half-find them an assisted living?  [/quote]

NP, with divorced parents and in-laws; only my MIL is remarried, FIL passed away several years ago.  My parents live nearby and are amicable, but have different levels of functioning.  They divorced, after decades of a terrible, high-conflict marriage, when I was in my mid-20s.

It's unreasonable to expect one's adult children to sacrifice their well-being and potentially that of their children on your behalf.  That expectation is complicated by divorce because people only have so much bandwidth for various things.  So, yeah.  I'll do my best to support them, but I'm not compromising my health or my ability to parent my own children because of my parents.  I spent years (and a lot of money) in therapy undoing the consequences of their lousy marriage.  They've taken enough.[/quote]

+1 more excellent boundary setting by a ACOD![/quote]

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