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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Um hello, I have family near by and you seem to have some idealized vision of this. My parents saw us as their "village" but they certainly haven't been a village in return. With aging it turned into a living hell because they seemed to think we could help them age in place. Mom has turned into a rage filled tantrummer. Yes, please tell me all about this village you envision.

I have helped many friends over the years and I do it when I can handle it because I care, not because I expect anything in return. Many have since moved anyway. We are fully prepared to hire help as we need it in emergencies. I have no interest in taking advantage of friends.[/quote]

I agree not everyone with family nearby has helpful family. But I do know of an example in my neighborhood - neighbor A literally has helpful family living on the same street, and neighbor B literally has no helpful family nearby. Neighbor B pays a high hourly rate, with required minimum hours, for an experienced nanny. Neighbor B only had so many kids, because they knew they had no helpful family nearby. Neighbor B also made many, many sacrifices to make the experienced nanny happen. Neighbor A actually tried to poach neighbor B's nanny, and for less of an hourly rate.  Of course, the nanny told Neighbor B - what else did neighbor A expect?  Not saying you are low like this, just saying it happens. Neighbor A is spoiled and ungrateful, so OP should be aware of the weird instances that do actually occur. Having your cake, eating it too, then stealing your neighbor's cake? Not cool. [/quote]

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