Reply to 40-year-old man in a 1BR condo

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Reply to "40-year-old man in a 1BR condo – problem?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Woman here.  It’s more about how you decorate it.
Does it look like a college dorm or pulled together and mature?
I would have simple fresh looking pillows and linens.  Masculine of course, but that’s all really[/quote]

+1. The condo would not be an issue. Loose boundaries with the parents might be.[/quote]

Damn. So a man who enjoys hanging out with his folks = loose boundaries?? You people are so screwed up. [/quote]

Pp. I didn’t say that. I said loose boundaries might be an issue. This would depend fully on what the adult child’s relationship with parents looks like and is entirely dependent on the circumstances. It also depends on what kind of relationship OP wants. Someone happy living their own separate life who wants to meet up a couple times a week might be fine with him making no adjustments to his lifestyle as it stands, a live in girlfriend may want to be prioritized more often and might not be up for dinners at the parents a few times a week and spending free time in their backyard. [/quote]

He does not sound like someone who wants a live-in girlfriend. Plenty of women, especially divorced, would find him ideal. He won’t be too needy and it is nice he is close to his parents. He does not have “loose boundaries”—he is a single guy who lives close to his parents. And kudos to him for not wasting money on a bigger than needed property and keeping his cash liquid.[/quote]

I agree that he could find someone who wants a more casual relationship  if that’s what he wants. I also don’t think either of us have any idea what his relationship with his parents is like. He could very well have a close, healthy, and functional relationship which is wonderful. If I was a woman looking for a relationship like the one he wants I would be entirely fine with him owning a condo, the condo is a nonissue. If he wants to take parents on every vacation with us and wants to spend weekends with all of us in the backyard I wouldn’t be into that, personally. Spending lots of time with parents is not, in itself, proof of poor boundaries but other things are and I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who had poor boundaries with parents. [/quote]

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