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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a special educator and a special needs parent I am just going I add that parents that tiptoe around their special needs children’s emotions and deny them experiences like learning how the world works (you are seriously going to keep the existence of wedding receptions a secret) and the opportunity to experience disappointment are harming their children.  I see it often and every family I know who would make this choice has a child whose transition to adulthood goes badly.

If you can’t go for the sake of your sister, then go for the sake of your child. [/quote]

I agree with this. Especially since you guys have talked about it before- she is going to know on some level that something is up. It’s hard but it’s never too early to talk about how we can disagree with people’s choices and be disappointed while still caring for them and doing the right thing ourselves. It sounds like your sister has a rule that is reasonably clear and explainable and people change their minds sometimes. It’s not nice and you wish things were different but she’s going to be ok because she can handle the disappointment. She’s going to hear at some point how your parents handled it and you are going to be glad you made a more thought out loving decision. I posted this earlier but I really don’t understand why you can’t make an appearance with out your husband. It’s not fun but it’s hardly the worst thing in the world- I have gone to multiple wedding and baby showers were I only know the person who is getting married/having the baby and sometimes they are awful and sometimes they are fun and you meet someone cool. An hour and a half of mild discomfort is not so bad.

FWIW I’d be maddest about the whole changing her mind thing but it does happen, sometimes for reasons that can’t be shared.

-Mom of a kids with SN and anxiety [/quote]

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