Reply to Is $200K A Negative?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you making $200k and topped out? Or are you making $200k and have potential to be making $400k in a few years?

Also, do you expect to do 50% of the household work? Do you expect to date women making $200k or women making $85k?

You could be a catch, either as potential for someone who wants to SAH once you’re making more and is willing to put her career on the back burner later OR for someone who is driven who you are willing to be a team player with, go 50-50, and have an HHI closer to $500k and outsource more.

You also might not be a catch if you’re going to expect someone to be impressed with $200k in this area and/or sideline their own career and live on a $200k HHI here.[/quote]

OP here. I live VA right outside of DC. There is potential for my salary to grow but I won’t ever make more than $250k in my field. I don’t have any expectations regarding a woman’s income. I don’t expect her to stay at home or put my career first. That’s up to her ahh if it makes sense financially down the road. A good buddy of mine has a super career driven wife who was adamant she will always work and then she quit after working PT for 6 months to raise her two boys until they go to school. Anything can happen and I don’t think that decision can be made until kids are here.

I don’t expect anyone to be impressed with my salary. The whole point of the thread was me being worried I wouldn’t make enough to attract a woman is this area. [/quote]

NP here.  While it’s good to be flexible you also need to be honest with yourself about your preferences.  Are you comfortable being the sole breadwinner with a family with 2 or 3 kids?  Are you willing to change your job or the position at your company if it’s not family friendly?  Are you willing to change jobs if you need one that earns more money? Do you want to be hands-on with the kids even when they are young and a lot of work?  When you have kids, it changes you and your life in a way that IMO is hard to imagine before it happens.  Personally, I’ve found once you’ve gotten above a certain salary which you need to be self supporting without roommates in this area, it’s about having a common vision of life and what each person is willing to sacrifice/take on to work towards that common vision.  Depending on that vision of the future, 200K might be more than enough, or it might not be enough for example if you want to live close-in and buy a SFH in NWDC right now without a lot of savings/down payment and have the option for your spouse to SAH.  But it might be fine if both of you are willing to move further out,  be in a smaller space, both continue to work etc.

As far as both working and what might happen in the future once there are kids, there is an article in HBR about dual income couples https://hbr.org/2019/09/how-dual-career-couples-make-it-work. One of the key take away is it not strictly a financial or logistical decision about careers and division of labor - it’s also about the emotions, fears, what you value etc.

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