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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the lore of the classes of 2021 and 2022 spread, it is going to be increasingly difficult for kids to be motivated in high school for some brass ring of T20 college as a reward. Seeing all these high stats, strong EC kids "settling" for "lessor" schools is very hard.[/quote]

Good.  Maybe a reset in how we think about college is in order. Maybe we, are parents, [b]need to stop pushing our kids to take 14 APs, get a 34/1500+/ participate in so many ECs and believe that aT20 college is the only answer.[/b]  It’s a race to nowhere. My 2020 kid is now having to make decisions about summers and study await her an eye towards grad school. It never stops.

I had a 2020 kid at TJ and have a 2022 kid. And the pandemic has made me realize how batsh*t crazy academics and college admissions are in this area.  It was such a relief in spring of 2020 to be forced to stop. And then restart at a slower pace. It made me realize how crazy our pace of life was and how exhausted we were. I’ve also seen my friends in other parts of the country have kids get into the same range of colleges as my kids with 1/2 the APs, 100 points less on the SATs and many fewer ECs.

The system is broken. A more sane system, like Canada or Europe would be healthier. [/quote]

For actual top kids, it isn't the parents pushing. There are some kids where they want the challenge and thrive with it.[/quote]

Some students absolutely push themselves into the crazy and not the parents.  I have more than one and the one that made it into the most competitive college, did it on his own.  Sibling are not the same.  It's all fine.[/quote]

Sure. I have a type A overachiever.  But, it’s my job as a parent to recognize that has the potential to become unhealthy and lead to mental health issues. And to encourage my kid to have balance. To reassure her that life doesn’t end if it’s not an Ivy or if Bs happen. To encourage sleep and exercise and healthy habits. To help them learn how to draw boundaries. To be the person who says no— you aren’t sleeping enough, you are short tempered and frazzled, you can’t add another activity. Not paying for it or otherwise supporting it. To praise healthy habits. To show excitement for “safety” schools.

It’s not fine when parents pressure pressure kids. It’s not fine when the kids pressure themselves to the point of carrying enormous levels of stress. [/quote]

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