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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Re: above PPs - big difference between being f&ckable and marriage material… also I’ll take a bald pooched dude who knows his way around so to speak and is GGG.  But if he or even a super fit guy is lazy / out of practice - no thanks. [/quote]

If then else…. Yea so you just took the 2 opposite extremes…. Useless feedback.

The fact is a 45 yo + dude… balding, wrinkles, pooch… if luckily usually outright fat, or fit and a narcissist … kids, financial issues with alimony and child support, etc. it’s not a pretty scene…. Objectively. Sure you can grasp on some minutely important straw like you didn’t have to fully train him in bed. Wow congrats!  :roll: or maybe “he takes care of his children” … um okay you wanna cookie.

I get it, love is blind you see your H as a catch, but minus kids/live/life partner… objectively not a catch.[/quote]

Nope - I divorced my husband (but not because of his pooch!) and am not looking for another one!  So I am more focused on the f&ckable part right now.   Anecdotally, I've had the pleasure of interacting with some pooch-y guys who are very generous lovers - which is my cup of tea right now.  One had anxiety outside of the s&x, and I decided to stop seeing him, because I am not looking to work out that sh&t with anyone but myself right now. [/quote]

That sounds miserable.

Bouncing around men to men trying to find one who isn’t bad in bed. With his soft and nasty pouch.

You can tell yourself it’s sooo great.

You gotta suck a lot of wrinkly d’s to find 1 pooch that doesn’t have anxiety and is 1/2 decent in bed. Of course no word on being a loving and caring partner in life.

Girl! You need a therapist not another d!ck. #daddyissues[/quote]

She thinks she is cool, but comes across as so disgusting.  Insulting her friend's husbands too.  She is one of those annoying new divorcees that think she knows better than everyone else.  I see them crash and burn in a years time.  They try very hard to justify how everyone married is miserable and that they are living the good life.[/quote]

The reality is some marriages are good.
Some are really bad but circumstances make it impossible to divorce.
Some never married are very happy, some are not.
Some divorced people are just dedicated to their single life, committed to their family and work and volunteer and friends in ways try couldn’t with a needy spouse. 
Some divorcees are miserable, broke and desperate.

But when people see happy divorced people and compare it to a bad marriage they see “another way”, when 80% of people were married you didn’t see another way, so yes divorce can be “contagious” meaning people see it as a viable option.

But the reality is only 50% are married and many are not happy, so statistically most people are not happily married.

[/quote]

And more realistically:

Some marriages start really, really good, grow stale, hit a bottom, rebuild and become very happy again.

Long marriages have stages.  They ebb and flow.  Many that are ultimately 'very happy' marriages are going to have some lean years in there with hormones, aging, stress of kids/work/aging parents.

Too many people without insight into marriage, no good role models, bounce or start wallowing and turning outside.   A lot is basic chemistry/compatibility coupled with the amount of family turmoil/trauma and how it was dealt with in their childhood.  I do think that is why some families have a legacy of divorce.

[/quote]

"Most people are going to have two or three marriages or committed relationships in their adult life. Some of us will have them with the same person." - Esther Perel, LMFT

Who are you married to today? Is it the same person you met when you first started dating or have they involved? Reflect on how you both have changed and how you want to change for the better in your relationship. Our relationships are meant to continuously evolve so be open to the journey.[/quote]

Love is not a permanent state of enthusiasm.  Marriages have stages.  This is why unevolved people keep chasing non-lasting NRE (new relationship energy) which is very ultimately harmful and unsatisfying over time. It also wreaks havoc on families.[/quote]

NRE. Thanks for that. I've never heard of it described this way. Definitely unevolved people. That's precisely what it is. Immaturity and lack of self growth/evolution.[/quote]

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