Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP created this. She decided to 60 hours a week. That’s on her. Her husband also works a full time job and does the majority of the child care. Like most humans, the husband needs some time to chill out.  OP sounds terrible, her husband should run now.

[/quote]

Op: well if you add the admin, you probably get more of a 60-40 split.

And compensation-wise, also a 60-40 split in the other direction. Point is not compensation.  Point is level of compensation requires long work hours.[/quote]

Yeah, sure. Just admit you value your job above all else. If you just owned that instead of seething with resentment that your husband is behaving as a normal, non-workaholic person would, maybe your marriage will survive for a few more years. [/quote]

No matter what the “agreement” was before the child was conceived/born, most mature people recognize that having a child
will change their lives in unanticipated ways. I have yet to meet a well-functioning family that has not had to renegotiate/reconsider/alter all those before plans. OP, you seem beyond stuck in a way of thinking that predates the child. For as much as you are complaining that your DH isn’t changing his mindset, you don’t seem to be willing/able to change yours. I’m getting the same sense of seething resentment that you can’t have the life back that you had where you were able to focus entirely on your career. That is no mindset to raise a child. You need to do some quick maturing. There is now a child involved.[/quote]

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