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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Woman here. I always insisted on splitting the check, but I have found I’m an outlier. Sadly, even those who offer (I had to truly insist) will still expect you to pay. And lots of women will never go out with you again if you don’t.

I think it’s crappy, but it’s the reality. [/quote]

I am a 50+ yrs woman and I have always paid for myself when I was single.

Here is what I taught my now  20-something single DD -
- Always pay for your share  on a date. Allowing any man to pay for your meal is a privilege you should bestow only to a person who has earned it.   Also, it cheapens you to have a person you are not interested in to pay for you in any way. 
- Takes your own car/arrange for your  own transportation.  
-  First two dates should be low-key (grab a coffee, share a pizza), in public places in the daytime, for some casual and fun activity (concerts, plays, games) etc.   
- There is no rule that says "sex on third date". Sex happens only when both people are ready or it is ok for it to not happen for a long time.  Many men think that paying for a date entitles them to some sexual favors from a woman.
- Your parents can very comfortably afford to fund your meals, social life and normal student lifestyle. So use that privilege and keep yourself and your self-esteem protected. Do not be beholden to anyone and do not take that mental burden on yourself.

DD remains our responsibility  until she is herself financially emancipated and settled in a good career. [/quote]

BTW...DD also approved of this. Once she is asked on a date, she very quickly tells the person that she will agree only if they can go dutch. And most men agree. As it is, she is only going out to low cost dates the first few times and it does not break her bank either.  Surprisingly, she sometimes goes for several of these low cost dutch dates with the same person (it takes her that much time to figure out if she is interested)  before she will agree to a nice dinner that the guy pays for etc.

She does not wait for the man to tell her to split the bill during or after the date. That would be really awkward and she will probably never go out with such a boorish person again.  She errs on the side of thinking that the men are well brought up and chivalrous and would want to pay,  and so she tells them that to go dutch is her idea, before accepting the date.  It lets the men off the hook. There are a million little things that she is watching out for in a man, so, if he pays for the date is not what she is judging him on.

Also, she feels that her paying for her own share in a graceful manner actually makes the men respect her more. Even the dates that did not work out, the man did not have any ill-will for her and they remained friendly acquaintances.  No one likes to be taken advantage of - men or women.   One last thing. Not everyone had parents who bankroll them as we do our DD. Most of these men are working jobs in college to make money. It is usually hard earned money for college and other expenses. My DD should not think that she has some sort of dibs on their earnings just because she is a female. [/quote]

Impressed by how well thought out this is. What did you teach your DD to look for on the first few dates?[/quote]

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