Reply to Divorce with kids - do you regret it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who think stigma is 100% bad in all cases don't understand human nature and the importance of cultural norms. Stop stigmatizing everything and see where it gets you.

It's okay for divorce when you have children to be viewed negatively. It's freakin' negative. [/quote]

I disagree. The stigma hurts kids.

These discussions always seem to overlook the fact that there are plenty of unhealthy and dangerous marriages that hurt kids too. It’s all a crapshoot. [/quote]

I’m an adult and the stigma hurts me. I didn’t quit. I was a good spouse. I know what it takes to make a marriage work. I tried hard to make it work. My spouse refused to meet me halfway. He didn’t want to try to improve our marriage. He wanted to live like a bachelor. And it’s not that I made a poor choice when I married him. He was loving and very positive toward me and our relationship. He was mature and responsible and faithful. We were happily married for the better part of a decade before we had kids. When we had children, he was super hands on and involved. He was truly an equal partner in child rearing.

I couldn’t have predicted that another decade later he would have a midlife crisis and do a complete 180. He lost interest in me, and even worse, our kids. He wanted to hang out with twenty-somethings. He wanted to go out and have fun after work instead of coming home. He wanted to date younger women and fall in love again.

You can’t force someone to stay with you. My husband was the quitter. He was the one who prioritized fun over an intact family. I really resent being regarded the same way he is just because we both fall into the category of “divorced.” We’re now polar opposites. I shouldn’t have to bear the same stigma. I stayed. I kept my marriage vows. I’m stable. I put my kids first.[/quote]

I'm sorry for what you went through, but I don't think it's realistic that there wouldn't be a stigma.  And nuts like the PP who insist her children have lost literally nothing are only perpetuating it with their denial and bizarre behavior.[/quote]

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