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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The code isn't private school but money. It just appears and is reinforced more often at private schools for obvious reasons. But the same code is found at fancy suburban high schools in places like Greenwich and Bronxville while plenty of private school grads languish in obscurity and mediocrity.

People overthink this and social engineering too much. Going to public school doesn't make you nicer. Going to a more diverse school doesn't make you more tolerant. The vast majority of people will grow into an innately comfortable network of likeminded peers based on personalities and interests and expectations so they will end up in homogenous environments one way or another.

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I disagree. Going to school with classmates who live in subsidized housing, or can’t afford to eat out, or who get free lunch every day, or who don’t have passports, can’t afford summer internships, or who have a parent in jail… these are differences that won’t been seen and accepted as “normal” in private schools.[/quote]

My kids went k-8 to public school with high FARMs rate and had plenty of friends from all SES levels, even though our own neighborhood is wealthy.  They played on the same sports teams and invited them to bday parties, and met with them at the local parks.  Some really great kids.

My youngest is in 8th grade now and it’s night and day with these a few of these same kids and we are pulling back on our kid hanging out with them.  These kids as teens now have almost no supervision.  Their direction for the future is not there.  They are seeking a lot of risk taking behavior.

I can’t wait until my kid joins older sibling at private high school next year to break from this peer group.  The private isn’t a big 3 and there are kids from different SES levels, the difference the parents that choose to put their kids in this school and the kids themselves are highly focused on academics, athletics and have a focus and drive for the future which is lacking in a good portion of some of the kids from public in the subsidized housing.  People are watching out for these kids in they’re homes, at their school and among their friends.  Drugs, weapons, violence, truancy, etc are a real problem at the public high school.

So at a young age it wasn’t bad, but as the kids got older and the schools got bigger and they didn’t have a single teacher stepping in and watching them, they begin hanging out with bad influences.  And, yes, kids from wealthy backgrounds can also be a bad influence, etc., etc..  but the parents generally know one another and there is a bigger set of eyes and safety net.[/quote]

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