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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To be honest when my wife stopped working we estimated the first 60k of income was lost due to added expenses.

But it is more than that. Once my wife stopped working I could work late, join outside professional organizations, work longer hours. Be available. Not always as not necessary. But I was not the run out the door type.

Out of all my family and cousins my brother and I have the highest HHI with SAHM wives. I no longer make big money. But I was making 400k for a 15 year run that started when my kids were 6, 4 and a new born. No way could we manage that HHI with both working with 3 kids. Childcare, maid, take out, commute would have been nightmare and neither of us would have held a high paying job.

My brother has held down a 400k to 650k job for 23 years. His. Wife quit when oldest was 1. [/quote]

This was our experience too. I (DW) fought to stay in the labor market and did so for many years with 3 kids but after I quit due to a health crisis our HHI tripled with one earner. That doesn't happen to everyone but I know a number of families where the sole earner's income shot up dramatically once the juggling act ended. [/quote]

Same here.  I became a SAHM and my DH was able to get more professional credentials and certifications.  We had always kept our COL low and we were doing a decent job of saving and investing, so with my quitting work, we were still able to  accumulate wealth on one hand, but also my DH's salary went up a lot.

With the pandemic and teens and DH working from home, the household has continued to work efficiently and smoothly because I am home and not doing an office job. [/quote]

I don't really see how my DHs income could.get any higher. He's a surgeon and has a private practice. I actually enjoy working because I'd be alone so much if I didn't. We do have a wonderful nanny, as I'm also in medicine though I'm a nurse anathesologist. I have a pretty consistent schedule. My kids are now older and our nanny has transitioned into housekeeping amd driving the kids around. I have to say I'm honestly glad my life isn't hers. I get the best of times and get to scrap the grunt work.  I don't really see much value in doing laundry, grocery shopping, and vacuuming. [/quote]

I actually agree with you on not doing the grunt work.  I have always employed domestic help at home, even as our COL was low. I became a SAHM to concentrate on my kids and to spend time with them.  The only job I did not outsource is that of parenting. I could not bear having someone else provide childcare for them. My DH has a fairly cushy and low stress job, so I have enough time in the day to spend with him and we both can do our own stuff together now as the kids have become older.  [/quote]

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