Reply to How to comfort friend after disappointing delivery?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend who had a very tough labor and delivery - was in labor for almost 48 hours before an emergency c-section.  She had done a lot of research and really wanted a vaginal birth - she hired a doula and wanted to keep going even when things weren't progressing (hence the 48 hours).  Her husband is my friend too and told me she is really upset about how it ended up and he thinks may be causing (or at least contributing to) PPD, along with  struggles breastfeeding.  She is a pretty type A/anxious person and really wants to do things "right" (I'm putting it in quotes because I know there is no "right" or "wrong" way to deliver).

I would like to reach out to her and be supportive.  I don't want to minimize her experience but I also want her to know it isn't some big disaster that she had a c-section.  As a mom of two kids I know that the birth experience seems all-important at the time, but it quickly loses relevance compared to first smiles, first steps, first days of school, etc.

Any suggestions for supportive things to say that aren't condescending or dismissive?[/quote]

If the baby is healthy then it doesn't make a bit of difference how it was born.  [/quote]

How invalidating. As someone would a traumatic birth where my inlaws just didn’t ask how I was but instead fawned over the baby, I can tell you that it certainly does matter. I will never forget how I was left alone and felt insignificant to others. The baby’s entire family matters. Especially the mother who birthed the baby.  [/quote]

Your mother and husband might care about you but everyone else only cares about baby
  Also, it is only the first that is gushed over.  Giving birth is what women do and is not special nor an achievement.[/quote]

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