Reply to How to comfort friend after disappointing delivery?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And how is the baby OP? Isn’t that the most important part of the story?[/quote]

WTF. It is AN important part of the story, but *uck you for implying that people shouldn't have feelings about how their birth went as long as their baby is fine. [/quote]

This is a really, really common way to try to convince women that the lowest possible bar for success is also the highest possible standard of excellence. [/quote]

Standards of excellence?  You think we should be giving women gold stars for their excellent child birthing sills or something?[/quote]

No, I think we should stop giving doctors participation trophies for having living patients at the end of the procedure. There is no other medical procedure that a result of ”you’re not dead!” Is supposed to be good enough. [/quote]

It's a very strange take to make veiled suggestions that the doctors were somehow in the wrong here.  It doesn't sound like there was anything medically wrong with the birth.  There's no suggestion in the OP or any follow-up that the doctors did anything other than excellent work.  But your post suggests that, if the mother is unhappy with the way the birth experience turned out, it is the doctor's fault?  Is there any other medical procedure where the physicians are held responsible for the feelings of the patient after a successful procedure?

Mother is healthy, baby is healthy.  No complications are reported by OP, and no negligence by the medical staff.  If that's not good enough for you, what would be, and how would you propose that teh doctors achieve it?  Should they have let the mother stay in labor for longer than 48 hours?  [/quote]

It's not about the doctors being negligent. It's not even about the c-section.

It's about, Doctors need to treat their maternity patients like human beings who have feelings and who experience things other than complete and total joy related to childbirth. If you can understand that going from a car crash to an emergency surgery to a long recovery could result in significant trauma (after all, you were supposed to just arrive at Point B in the car and go about your life), you should be able to understand that an emergency in childbirth (whether its a c-section, a hemorrhage, baby emergency, vacuum, forceps, WHATEVER) can ALSO result in trauma. And mothers who go through traumatic birthing experiences should be treated like a person who went through a trauma, with sensitivity and respect for their healing. Childbirth can be scary when it goes in a "textbook" fashion, and when it doesn't can be very frightening and traumatic. Having a supportive medical team, supportive family and friends, makes that trauma a lot easier to process.

Saying, "But baby is healthy and you're fine too so just be happy!" ignores the human response to trauma. And it doesn't work. Not everyone will find the same things traumatic, and sometimes (not always) that is a result of having a more supportive team and network.

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