Reply to Husband -father of 4- sleeps in every single day

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband -father of 4- sleeps in every single day "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. I am a SAHM. Not really by choice. I’d love to work again. But we have too many kids and preschool/school is very unpredictable with covid/quarantines. Preschool pickup is at noon. I have about 2.5 hours of “leisure time” between the last drop off and first pick up. This is when I grocery shop, clean, and put laundry away. (DH is usually home for most of that time… being a sloth.) So leisurely. We haven’t had a full week of school for the kids in many weeks (months?) due to covid. Prior to staying home, I was a FCPS teacher. No flexibility, stressful, and not enough pay to cover a FT nanny or FT daycare for littles and after care for bigs. I’m trapped.

I’ll look into Al-anon, thank you for the suggestion.  [/quote]

I’m a sahm of 3, also not really by choice. I also have 2.5 hours of leisure time when preschool is in session so I get it. I do take the time for me time though. I would suggest you do the same. I get most of my groceries delivered. Before Covid, I would love to take a break and leisurely go to target or grocery shop. I would also suggest the same so that your Dh can take the kids and you get a break.

I have 3 kids in 3 different schools so our mornings and afternoons are hectic but I manage.

It sounds like your Dh has an alcohol problem. You should really address this and seek professional help. [/quote]

OP, I first want to say that your husband def has an alcohol problem affecting his engagement at home, so you are totally right to throw a fit and do everyt You can to make him see that. He should be engaged in the morning, be present at breakfast with the kids etc…

But I do want to flag that in that discussion (later on or for others reading this) you need to figure out how many hours each of you works, sleep and have leisure time, and be sure to be fair. I have a couple SAHM in my  group of friends. Some are thriving because it is the type of tasks and life they find joy and accomplishment and peace in (taking care of routines, cooking, cleaning etc…), and a solid group has a really hard time because those tasks exhaust them, and they usually ends up SAHM not by choice. And that latter group is demanding things from their DH that I find quite unfair. Putting them in charge of morning routine / evening routines. When you had a day at work, you also want an hour to rest and do nothing in the evening, you also need quiet time to unwind without kids. So that leisure time needs to be very equally divided, and take into account the break each of you get during the day…

I am the score keeping type (we both WOH but did same when on maternity leave). And I really know how most of us at work get breaks too during the day (heck, I am writing this during a boring meeting, wouldn’t be able to do that while engaging a toddler). But I find that a lot of SAHM picked the wrong job for themselves, if the day is so miserable that you need more leisure time than DH when both of your 8h  “work days” are over (and they may not be distributed at same times), it means you are better off going back to work, whatever the money calculation is, you will feel better. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics