Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

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Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It amazes me that people on DCUM have such rich families they are disappointed the parents don't offer to pay for flights in addition to accomodations. I can't even imagine. [/quote]

It amazes me you don't get it. It's not like this a trip OP wants to go on to a wonderful place and she gets the bonus of some parts paid for. It's a [b]manipulative[/b] "gift" where she is still forced to pay a chunk of money and take off from work.

If your spouse is on board, you politely decline. These days Covid is a great excuse. Give a nice gift with heartwarming card and be done. Let the chips/drama fall where it may.[/quote]

It is no more manipulative than a wedding invite.  In fact, that is the perfect analogy.  These people want to celebrate an important life milestone and they want to do so with their family.  They are shelling out the cost of the specific event, but others will have to pay to get there and other incidentals.  It is also disruptive to their lives and might not be where they would choose to go on their own at the time they would go.

Sure, people get annoyed about weddings, and sometimes for good reason.  But that is all this is.  Same thing.[/quote]

DP. That analogy works if the people getting married expect their guests to be grateful for the privilege of being invited to the wedding, as OP's ILs do.[/quote]

Fair point.  But that is a lot about perceived intentions and reading into what is being said.  OP can choose to respond to that type of thing, or just let it go.  (Not being dismissive or judgmental of OP.  But it is an option to change the mindset about what to focus on.)

The circumstance/facts are the same as a wedding.    [/quote]

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