Reply to For those well-meaning social workers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Medicare services are based on medical necessity as ordered by the physician, not on what is easier for the social worker. However even for people who qualify for in home personal care services (people who meet nursing home level of care and meet Medicaid income and eligibility requirements mostly) it is extremely hard to find qualified workers right now. Also extremely hard to find nursing home beds. Social workers can’t fix that. [/quote] So since my aunt is end stage pancreatic cancer, lives alone ,has no kids, I guess the hospice will leave her in bed to die and rot,right? Because I am leaving in a week regardless - I have no choice.

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Do you think the social worker has more choice to move in with her than you do? Or more responsibility?

I'm not saying you have responsibility to do so. I'm saying your problem -- and it is a problem, since you are taking it out on other people -- is in insisting others have more responsibility than you. It is not sufficient to compel you, but that does not follow that that it must then be sufficient to compel them. [/quote]

If your aunt is under hospice care and they are aware she lives alone, they will work with her physician/medical team to either bring in more care (as needed) or advise her to go into a full-time facility. They are the ones who should have had that conversation with her directly and would be surprised if they have not, since she is at the end stages.  If you have been the go-between then you must make it clear that you are just a "visitor"who has no input (legal or familial) and will be leaving in a week.

Then go home.  I think it's best for everyone if you just step out of the picture permanently as it is obviously taking a serious mental toll on you, as your logic and compassion are questionable now. [/quote]

I have absolutely done that. Stated flat-out I am the visitor. The new hospice we are hiring fully understands that and said the state will step in and do what they can. I told them they are welcome to her pension+social security and her vehicle, which is pretty new and highly sellable.

It is indeed taking a serious mental toll on me. My logic and compassion are intact, however, but I’m mad as hell after being accused of stealing her narcotics (they are accounted for AND that was witnessed by three of her friends). I plan to report them to the state,  once my aunt is in the care of the other hospice, who will make sure her pain is managed properly (they said it is decidedly NOT now).  I never want to witness again, what I witnessed this AM - an old woman barely standing, in severe pain, peeing her pants, and staggering to try and get back into bed, due to a narcotics error on the nurse’s part[/quote]

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