Reply to Red Flags- Children’s SO

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[quote=Anonymous]I think by the time your children are adults it’s too late to start talking about red flags, other than abuse.

Our parents understood that the choice of a spouse is the biggest happiness-factor choice most people will ever make.  For women it also corresponds with their long term financial-life happiness because children are the best way to keep women with bad men. So from a very young age our parents discussed things like having a partner without debt, having a partner from a stable family, having a partner with a career and ambitions, having a partner with whom you can face and solve problems, etc.

As a parent to an adult child the best thing you can do is 1. Do No harm. Do not be what your child is fighting with their SO about. Support the partnership and support your CIL because they—not you— are the biggest factor in your child’s happiness and what is more important than that?? And then 2. If there is an abusive situation make extremely clear to your child that you will get them out and support them with no questions asked and no judgement rendered. Whether they believe you will have to do with what kind of a relationship you built with them in their childhood and early adulthood.[/quote]

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