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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You folks are very strange about death. In our large, Italian, Catholic family, weddings and wakes are the times we mostly get together, and to be honest the middle days of the wakes are fun.  You see people you haven’t seen in ages, tell stories, catch up, and talk about planning that cousins club reunion that never really happens. As long as you’re not staging a photo in front of the casket or gravesite, it’s not a big deal. Twenty years from now, you're going to be happy to have large group pictures as you remember those who have gone and you start talking with your children and grandchildren about their family history and they want to know about them.

It’s perfectly fine to stick this picture in a closet for now if it’s hard for you. But it’s not a horrible offense.[/quote]

I cannot believe this bears explaining, but: Weddings and funerals aren't the same at all. "Funerals are fun" has got to be a new one here. Maybe they're sort of a nice chance to reconnect if you're not close to the person. I'm willing to bet the person who lost a mom, dad, sibling, child, husband or wife isn't having tons of fun. Have you ever mourned someone close to you? If so, did you spend the time planning a "cousin club" (?) reunion.

There are lots of places to stage and then gift large family photos. A funeral just ain't one of 'em.[/quote]

Maybe where you come from. But it’s not the distant cousins doing this - it’s everyone, especially when the deceased is older and has lived their life. We have bad luck around the holidays in our family, and everyone has the standing directive that if we die at the end of December, stick us in the morgue, everyone go about Christmas, and then hold the wake on the 27th and bury before New Years. We cry enough at home, and are glad for new conversation and seeing people for part of the day. We accept death as part of being alive, and it will be all of our turns one day.[/quote]

Ok, so you'd gift a photo like this in front of a grieving person?
Maybe the mom died of COVID, painfully. Or by suicide. Or very young. Or violently. Not all death is happy.[/quote]

DP.   I lost 2 siblings and my father to suicide.[b] I agree with the PP whose family can find solace and warmth at funeral events. [/b] Being about to reconnect to people, especially those we hadn't seen for a while, reaffirmed that life continues.  Joy and fun CAN be found in such sorrowful times.  Having some normality went a long way in helping us move beyond the tragedy we were immersed in.

I think those of us who have experienced profound loss, like a PP who buried a DH and 2 kids, may be able to recognize it more.  It's certainly not a competition but having a lot more experience with it may make it easier for us to recognize and appreciate lightness whenever we can find it.

I would have had no problem with the gift OP's SIL handed out a Christmas.  While the setting was for a sad occasion for me, it wasn't for them.  They were there for me and good for them for putting the time to good use and getting a good picture. Life goes on. [/quote]

Everyone agrees with this. The whole purpose of a funeral is to find solace from the people close to you. That doesn't mean it's a great time for a photo op.

I'm not sure why this is so difficult to understand.[/quote]

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