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Reply to "BIL called DH’s Mom a B****"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whether a B or not or whether calling her a B or not, or who was right, wrong, justified, my breaking point would be both of them doing this in front of family and especially grandkids. No matter what the circumstances, this is not what I’d want in front of family and my children, nieces or nephews. To overlook it gives those kids the impression that it’s ok and permissible to let it happen to them in the future.[/quote] +1. I especially don’t want my daughters raised to think it’s ok for a man to call them that word without apology, no matter what the man’s excuses are.[/quote] I mean, sure, but I also don't want my daughters to think that it's okay to act like that word and expect everyone to just take it, either. Every lets MIL say rude and nasty things to everyone else -- isn't that teaching your kids that it's okay and permissible to let someone insult you all the time? The B-word isn't magic. It's not okay for someone to call them a b, but it's okay for someone to mock and insult them otherwise?[/quote] Adults, especially in the presence of children, have an obligation to model how to handle rudeness. BIL can refuse to “take it” by pointing out that MIL is being rude, calling out the behavior as unkind without name calling, by walking away. Calling someone a misogynistic term just isn’t ok. I don’t want my sons thinking they can drop that word in anger or my daughters thinking that they might deserve it. [/quote] Okay, Little Miss Perfect. You do that. Most other people are simply human.[/quote] Even my youngest kids know how to say sorry and how to move on after an apology. It isn’t that hard. [/quote] DP. Exactly. I once yelled at my friend in front of her 13 year old daughter. While I was not sorry for yelling at my friend, I was sorry that her daughter had to hear that. I apolgized to her daughter. BIL owes OP and her DH an apology for using that language in their kids' presence(he can apologize directly to the kids too). BIL is an adult, and he is aware that his MIL pushes his buttons. He shouldn't invite her to his house along with others(children in particular) if he cannot control his temper. [/quote]
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