Reply to Dating for 4 months and he said "not ready" for relationship- I walked away, now what?

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Reply to "Dating for 4 months and he said "not ready" for relationship- I walked away, now what?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Were you exclusive? What do you mean by committed - eventual marriage? Hear him out as you may be on the same page. Four months really isn't that long.[/quote]

OP: We just recently became exclusive. By committed, I just mean acting like boyfriend/girlfriend in a "real" relationship- not just dating. I was clear that I wasn't asking for marriage or anything like that.[/quote]

I'm a woman and to be honest, I don't understand what you mean, or what you want. Did you want a key to his house? To be introduced to his parents?  As long as he's not dating other people, what more did you want? [/quote]

+1. I don't get what she wants either...and I am a woman, too.[/quote]

I totally get what she wants. There is a difference where you are seeing someone regularly but you don't feel like it is gelling into something bigger. You aren't planning for the future, you still feel a little unsteady and unstable in the relationship. It can be hard to put your finger on what makes you feel that way exactly, but you're generally not wrong that there's something not quite there there if you do feel that way.

OP wants a real relationship. Now, she has a guy she's hanging out with and having s*x with. She told the guy what she wants, he told her he's not ready to give that to her. As others said, doesn't mean he's a bad guy - does mean that this isn't the right relationship at the right time.

My now-husband and I were in our late 30s when we got together and within a few months we'd met each other's parents and had adopted a cat together. We were in the same mental space, same readiness for something solid. It's part of why I married the guy - because there was none of this guessing whether he was going to call or if he was still maybe on the apps or whatever (not that apps existed when we got together).[/quote]

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