Reply to Spouse will not respect my need for sleep

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are going to sleep at 9:30 and waking at 6:30 — that is 9 hours!

Do you have sleep apnea or other health conditions?[/quote]

I have always had chronic sleep issues including insomnia.  It sometimes takes me awhile to fall asleep and there are times I wake up and take awhile to fall back to sleep.  I’ve found keeping a consistent schedule helps my overall health and well being.  I’d say my goal is 8 hours minimum, but 9 can happen.  I do not have sleep apnea but chronic migraines and lack of sleep is a massive trigger. [/quote]

I was wondering if I some how wrote this….this is my life too except my husband is much more understanding and I prioritize sleep and a consistent schedule very highly because of the reasons you stated. Separate rooms especially some of the time are ok when you have a sleep issue!  My spouse understands this and also would not act the way you described. He actually needs more sleep than I do but is a much more consistent and hardy sleeper … I am so jealous. I find it really sad that your spouse is acting like this knowing it contributes to your migraines. Honestly I would ask for marriage counseling if she really cares this little about your health. I’m so sorry. [/quote]

I honestly just think people who need less sleep don’t “get it”.  I hate to simplify it that way, but a lot of these responses make it clear many think I’m being “selfish” with my need for consistent sleep.  It’s very much possible my wife feels the same way because she can function on less sleep.  Perhaps she thinks I’m being dramatic with the sleep situation and so doesn’t take my annoyance seriously. [/quote]

I get it. I don't need much sleep.Never have. It used to frustrate my mother that I'd be wide awake at 10:00 Pm as a kid. Fortunately I grew up with siblings who needed more sleep sp I learned to be a bot more tolerant and quieter at night, and I think they learned how to do the same on the other end. 
All I can think is maybe your wife feels judged for staying up late and being on screens? I really can't think of any other reason where she wouldn't at least try to be a little quieter. Are you srue there's not something else going on , because that just sounds majorily unreasonable.[/quote]

I don’t think there are any other issues.  She is known for bottling up her feelings while I’m the type to address issues as they come up.  We’ve addressed this in the past with couples therapy and we both work on how we address conflict.   She’s from the type of family where you couldn’t express any frustration with one another so it’s something she’s unlearning.

I think previous PPs are correct and that she’s upset I go to bed so early.  Not because I’m not pulling my weight with the kids or household chores (I do the brunt of that, always have).  It’s most likely because she’d like to spend time with me in the late evenings once the kids go to bed for awhile.  We use to spend more time alone weekday evenings before I got my current job.  I use to work from home and we’d go to bed around the same time and I imagine the transition is difficult.  I think we’ll discuss it and while I’m not willing to compromise on sleep, I will work on making it up in other wise so I can prioritize child-free quality time. [/quote]

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