Reply to Why do so many of us have issues with our ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most of that. [b]Because they are family we didn't pick and we have to be nice to them.[/b] Because our spouses don't always stand up for us or the young family needs over old traditions. My inlaws are nice people but i wouldn't hang out with them if they weren't dhs parents. Same for my SIL who i fine nice but grating and frustrating in many ways. But shes nice to my kids so we see them a couple times a year and its enough for me.  [/quote]

The bolded is false. You picked them.

Did you not meet them and get to know them before you married? If not, it is your fault.

Some of you need to marry orphans. lol
[/quote]

My MIL literally did an about face when we got married.  So no, the dating period was not a good indicator of how difficult she would be as a MIL.  I went into our marriage thinking that we would end up close!  I avoid her at gatherings now because of YEARS of her antics and I found it's the best way to preserve our relationship.  I don't know if she'd say we have a strained relationship though.  But I certainly think we do.  I am guarded and different around her.  When I was more open and loving, I got burned and hurt.  So I stopped. Things have gotten better for me emotionally, but I am not sure she's even noticed.[/quote]

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