Reply to So annoyed the cheaters are not getting consequences

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] The betrayed in the marriage isn't always the victim. What if the cheater was denied intimacy? Wouldn't the consequences fall upon the betrayed spouse for withholding?[/quote]

No, am actually mature adult would end the marriage first.  The betrayed is ALWAYS the victim.[/quote]

Got it. So you can be physically violent, have a gambling addiction, spend through all of the family money irresponsibly, be a terrible parent, withhold intimacy, but if your spouse cheats on you, you are the victim and everyone must see you that way.[/quote]

NP. This is a circumstance where the cheater is a victim too, and in the case of physical violence it might not be possible to leave. But a) leaving is still the responsible, adult thing to do if there isn’t a risk if physical violence, and b) in the case of “withholding intimacy,” like the original PP said, no the cheater is not the victim. Especially when the person who doesn’t have desire probably actually does want to experience that part of their life again but doesn’t because of different life circumstances.

It’s rare that the person cheating does so because of gambling, physical violence, spending all the family money, being a terrible parent, etc. With men it’s usually just because they want more sex and the wife is too busy to experience much desire, with women it’s usually because they’re resentful of the husband. These people are not victims, as much as they’d like to spin it that way. [/quote]

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